party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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