Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We left the knife in your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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