You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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