Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
