yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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