So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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