My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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