First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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