They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
