yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
