bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
