I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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