How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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