is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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