Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
