If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Congratulations! We have a period
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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