I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We're using joints as your birthday candles
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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