that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
