I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
