Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
