We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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