woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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