He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
