I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
