i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize