Can i not drive my cunt home
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It's no shave November. This is our time.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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