Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Sex in the backyard? Check.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize