and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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