i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
