recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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