I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
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I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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