i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
