all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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