Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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