just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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