I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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