Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you will always have a special place in my vag
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
