I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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