i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
