is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
