im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
