Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
