Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
