I like my sex mixed with concussions.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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