I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
