My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
