Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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