Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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