So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
