Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.

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  (517): Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early. http://tfl.nu/8f7a
  Replies (17) Good night (6707) Bad night (2020)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay

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  (781): So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay http://tfl.nu/35ja
  Replies (11) Good night (4799) Bad night (1483)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed

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  (863): if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed http://tfl.nu/59ub
  Replies (8) Good night (5467) Bad night (838)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"

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  (817): He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick" http://tfl.nu/f333
  Replies (18) Good night (3967) Bad night (1098)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby

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  (573): Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby http://tfl.nu/0mu9
  Replies (7) Good night (2677) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit

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  (949): My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit http://tfl.nu/1azl
  Replies (11) Good night (4105) Bad night (880)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.

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  (330): The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life. http://tfl.nu/qfsl
  Replies (5) Good night (4115) Bad night (728)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex

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  (402): let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex http://tfl.nu/z1hh
  Replies (13) Good night (3144) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.

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  (919): Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him. http://tfl.nu/jzxh
  Replies (2) Good night (1029) Bad night (667)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.

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  (773): I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain. http://tfl.nu/ynjh
  Replies (0) Good night (816) Bad night (444)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.

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  (281): And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin. http://tfl.nu/b3st
  Replies (4) Good night (562) Bad night (960)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.

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  (603): I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success. http://tfl.nu/py46
  Replies (3) Good night (845) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!

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  (920): I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me! http://tfl.nu/kvcq
  Replies (7) Good night (691) Bad night (283)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.

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  (309): He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys. http://tfl.nu/x76x
  Replies (11) Good night (540) Bad night (876)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....

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  (503): I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea..... http://tfl.nu/kqab
  Replies (4) Good night (349) Bad night (932)

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