Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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