that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
