can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize