im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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