I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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