that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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