I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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