I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
