maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
