Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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