You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
