I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Welp...herpes.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
