What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize