Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I can tuck mytits in my pants
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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