My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
