if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize