how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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